Tabulations

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Hump-Day Hilarity: Courtesy of Mitford

In honor of Jan Karon's newest Mitford release--which is a lovely surprise given that Ms. Karon declared a decade ago that she would leave the "rest of the Mitford story" to the imagination of her beloved readers--here is one of my favorite Uncle Billy jokes, as told by the dear man himself.   Uncle Billy, a Mitford fixture, is an octogenarian who hails from the Appalachian mountains--blessed with a perpetual grin and delightful spirit.  He is slowed down a bit by "Arthur, don't ya know"; however, his wit is quite up to speed.

"Wellsir, this old feller an' is wife was settin' on th' porch, an' she said, 'Guess what I'd like t'have?'".
He said, 'What's that?'
She said, 'A great big bowl of vaniller ice cream with choc'late sauce and nuts on top!'
He says, 'Boys howdy, that'd be good. I'll go down to th'store and git us some.'
She said, 'Now that's vaniller ice cream with choc'late sauce and nuts. Better write it down.'
He said, 'Don't need t'write it down, I can remember.'

Little while later, he come back.  Had two ham san'wiches.  Give one t'her.  She looked at that san'wich, lifted the top off and said...

'You mulehead, I told you t'write it down, I wanted mustard on mine.'"

P.S.:  In case you're wondering who Arthur is, it's arthritis, don't ya know!



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